3 Day Eating Program - RESULTS!

     I only lost a pound.  I didn't think I was going to lose any weight, so a pound is nice.  On the other hand, my mother lost 6 pounds.  So, go figure.
     Most likely this diet was like any other.  If you're just starting out with exercise and dieting, you'll lose a substantial amount of weight pretty quickly.  But if you've been exercising and dieting for a while, like me, then it takes longer and more effort to lose weight.  No matter what kind of diet or exercise regimen you're on most likely that's how things will go.
    I' m not sure if I'll try this again.  Maybe if I don't have to eat anymore tuna.  But let me give you a little insight.  Dieting doesn't work!  Yes, you heard me right.  Dieting is a fraud.  I know what you're thinking, "But you just posted about this diet for four days?!"  Yes, that's true.  You see, this diet is more like a jump start.  It's to get the ball rolling on weight loss. But keeping weight off isn't done by dieting, it's done by changing how you eat forever. I know the word "forever" seems a little over kill, but it's true.  You diet for a week, and then go back to eating fast food and expect to stay fit.
     If you want to be healthy and fit then you need to realize it is a life time commitment.  If you're not willing to change your life to make it better then you might not want it bad enough!
     Okay!  Lecture over!  If anyone has any questions about healthy eating and exercise, just message me or leave a comment.  :-)




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3 Day Eating Program - Day 3

     Last day!  I must say, this diet was much easier than I thought it was going to be.  When I looked at the menu at first glace it doesn't seem like enough food, but after I ate it I was pretty full.  I wasn't stuffed, but I was satisfied.  Which is how eating is supposed to be.  You're never supposed to feel stuffed.  But what made this diet pretty easy is the carbs and ice cream.  I don't think I could have gotten through this with out the toast, crackers, and ice cream.  So a special thanks to them.
     I still need to get trough today, and the dreaded tuna.  I don't know how I'm going to do it, but I guess I have no choice.

     Today's menu.

Breakfast--5 Saltine Crackers, 1 Slice of Cheddar Cheese, and 1 Small Apple
Lunch-1 Hard-Boiled Egg, and 1 Slice of Toast
Dinner--1 Cup of Tuna, 1/2 of a Banana, and 1 Cup of Vanilla Ice Cream

     Tomorrow I will weigh my self and see if this thing actually worked.  I'm going to be extremely angry if I have to eat tuna for  no reason!
     Wish me luck!




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3 Day Eating Program - Day 2

     Yesterday went pretty well.  The worst part for me so far is eating tuna.  I can't express how much I hate canned tuna.  At least I don't have to eat it today.  At at the end of the night I got a pretty bad headache.  I'm guessing that came from the lack of caffeine.  You're supposed to drink caffeinated tea or coffee the first day, and I did, but I guess it wasn't as much caffeine as I'm used to.
     Dinner last night I think is was the best meal out of this whole program.  It was yummy and super filling.  I was stuffed by the end of it.

     Here's the menu for today.

Breakfast--1 egg, 1 Slice of Toast, and 1/2 Banana
Lunch--1 Cup of Cottage Cheese (Or 1 Slice of Cheddar Cheese), 1 Hard Boiled Egg, and 5 Saltine Crackers
Dinner--2 Hot Dogs, (no buns), 1 Cup of Broccoli, 1/2 Cup of Carrots, 1/2 Banana, and 1/2 Cup of Vanilla Ice Cream

     Not too bad, right?  I've also had surprising amount of energy too.  I'm anxious to see how things go tomorrow considering the decrees in food.  Either way, I think I can hold out for another day.





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3 Day Eating Program - Day 1

     So I decided to try this 3 day Military diet that's supposed to jump start your weight loss.  I know, by the sound of the name it sounds like you can only eat saltines and tea.  Close!
     Supposedly you can lose up to 10lbs in 3 days!!!  I don't have too much hope that I'm going to lose 10lbs.  If I do, I'll take it!
     Here's the diet and what it consists of.

DAY 1:
Breakfast--1/2 Grapefruit, 1 Slice of Toast, 2 Tablespoons of Peanut Butter, and Coffee or Tea
Lunch--1/2 Cup of Tuna, 1 Slice of Toast, and Coffee or Tea (any brew, as long as it's caffeinated)
Dinner--3 ounces of any type of meat, 1 Cup of Green Beans, 1/2 Banana, 1 Small Apple, and 1 Cup of Vanilla Ice Cream.

DAY 2:
Breakfast--1 egg, 1 Slice of Toast, and 1/2 Banana
Lunch--1 Cup of Cottage Cheese (Or 1 Slice of Cheddar Cheese), 1 Hard Boiled Egg, and 5 Saltine Crackers
Dinner--2 Hot Dogs, (no buns), 1 Cup of Broccoli, 1/2 Cup of Carrots, 1/2 Banana, and 1/2 Cup of Vanilla Ice Cream.

DAY 3:
Breakfast--5 Saltine Crackers, 1 Slice of Cheddar Cheese, and 1 Small Apple
Lunch-1 Hard-Boiled Egg, and 1 Slice of Toast
Dinner--1 Cup of Tuna, 1/2 of a Banana, and 1 Cup of Vanilla Ice Cream.

    I know what you're thinking, "What's the problem, you get to eat ice cream!!!"  That's true, and I wouldn't want to do anything to sabotage that part of the diet, but this is not a lot of food.  So I don't suggest this diet for people who are used to eating a very full diet.  (Over 2,000 calories)  Also, this diet requires exercise for it to work properly. 
     Never start any diet or eating program with out doing some research.

    I currently weigh 150 (I can't believe I'm putting that on the internet.)  Let's see how much I weigh on Thursday!

Here's the link to the site I got this diet from.  http://blessedmommy.hubpages.com/hub/Lose-Up-To-10-Pounds-In-3-Days-On-The-3-Day-Diet





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Science vs. Faith

"Professor: You're a Christian, aren't you, son?

Student: Yes,sir.

Professor: So, you believe in God?

Student: Absolutely, sir.

Professor: Is GOD good?

Student: Sure.

Professor: Is GOD all powerful?

Student: Yes.

Professor: My brother died of cancer even he prayed for God to heal him.  Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill.  but GOD didn't.  How is this GOD good then?  Hmm?

(Student was silent.)

Professor:  You can't answer, can you?  Let's start again, young fella.  Is GOD good?

Student: Yes.

Professor: Is Satan good?

Student: No.

Professor:  Where did Satan come from?

Student: From... GOD...

Professor:  That's right.  Tell me son, is there evil in the world?

Student: Yes.

Professor:  Evil is everywhere, isn't it?  And GOD did make everything.  Correct?

Student: Yes.

Professor:  Who created evil?

(Student didn't answer.)

Professor:  Is there sickness?  Immorality?  Hatred?  Ugliness?  All these terrible things exist in the world, don't they?

Student:  Yes, sir.

Professor:  So, who created them?

(Student had no answer.)

Professor: Science says you have five senses you use to identify and observe the world around you.  Tell me, son, have you ever soon GOD?

Student: No, sir.

Professor:  Have you ever felt your GOD, tasted your GOD, smelt you God?  Have you ever had any sensory perception of GOD for that matter?

Student:  No, sir.  I'm afraid I haven't.

Professor:  Yet you still believe in Him?

Student:  Yes.

Professor:  According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn't exist.  What do you say to that, son?

Student:  Nothing.  I only have my faith.

Professor:  Yes, faith. And that is the problem Science has.

Student:  Professor, is there such a thing as heat?

Professor: Yes.

Student:  And is there such a thing as cold?

Professor: Yes.

Student:  No, sir,  There isn't.

(The lecture theatre became very quiet with this turn of events.)

Student:  Sir, you have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat and no heat.  But we don't have anything called cold.  We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that.  There is no such thing as cold.  Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat.  We cannot measure cold.  Heat is energy.  Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.

(There was pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre.)

Student:  What about darkness, Professor?  Is there such a thing as darkness?

Professor:  Yes.  What is night is there isn't darkness?

Student:  You're wrong again, sir.  Darkness is the absence of something.  You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light.  But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it?  In reality, darkness isn't.  If it is, well you would be  able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?

Professor:  So what is the point you are making, young man?

Student:  Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.

Professor:  Flawed? Can you explain how?

Student:  Sir, you are working on the premise of duality,  You argue there is life then there is death, a good GOD and a bad GOD as something finite, something we can measure,  Sir, science can't even explain a thought.  It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never, much less fully understood either one.  To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing.  Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it.  Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?

Professor:  If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.

Student:  Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The Professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument was going.)

Student:  Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor.  Are you not teaching your opinion, sir?  Are you not a scientist but a preacher?

(The class was in uproar.)

Student:  Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor's brain?

(The class broke out into laughter.)

Student:  Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's brain, felt it, touched  or smelled it?  So, according to the established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have no brain, sir.  With all due, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?

(The room was silent.  The professor stared at the student, his face unfathomable.)

Professor:  I guess you;ll have to take them on faith, son.

Student:  That is it sir... Exactly!  The link between man and GOD is FAITH!  That is all that keeps things alive and moving."

That Student was Albert Einstein.

     People with faith don't need to know the absolute out come of things to sleep at night.  But people who need proof, I feel sorry for them.  Not being able to relax until something is absolutely certain.

    Proof doesn't mean anything with out faith.  Whether you're talking about God or anything else.




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Coffee!!!

    Let's just take this time to appreciate the important things in life like coffee!  It's such a simple thing, but it's done so much for us in our lives.  Even in the roughest times, it's there for us.  It doesn't argue, it's listens.  It never leaves, or dies, and it never says "Those pants don't make you look fat, you make those pants look fat!"
     I think we've all been effected by O.C.D. (Obsessive Coffee Disorder)  A warm cup of coffee is just so comforting in the morning.  I think they probably put meth in it, but who's really looking?
     Whether it's Starbucks, or just the brew you have at home, coffee is the essence of life!
So take today and celebrate coffee, your self, and life by treating your self to you favorite coffee drink!  Don't worry about "Oh, I shouldn't.  The caffeine and sugar is bad for me."   It's okay!  I give you permission.  It will make you feel better.

     Have a lovely, coffee drinking day! ;-)


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Be Your Self

     It's probably pretty cheesy and cliche' to you when you hear "Be your self!"  But it really is true.  How many of you have changed everything about you self to make someone else happy?  I know I have.
     I've just recently started to take time to get to know my self.  But how is it that I don't know my self?  You would be surprised.  When I was younger I was a completely different person than I am now.  I love dark, scary things.  I watched gory horror movies and did research about murderers.  I would listen to depressing music and mope around with my headphones in all day.  Now, I'm the opposite.  I try to surround my self with beautiful things, I love to dress in dresses and light colors, and I take pride in my self.  And when I say pride, I don't mean arrogance.  Pride and arrogance are two different things.  But I am a much happier person for it.
     A lot of the time I can criticized for what I do, what I watch, what I wear... Pretty  much everything.  And yes, it makes me feel like complete shit!  (Excuse my language)  But instead of focusing on it, I try not to care.  But that's my biggest down fall.  I'm too  nice for my own good.  My parents always ask me, "Why do you put up with these people?"  To tell the truth, I can't answer that question.  I guess in my mind, I rather be treated badly than someone else.  I guess what I'm trying to say is don't let people influence you.  I've done that my whole life and now I have to un-learn how to do it.  Be nice to people and help them out.  But when it starts to effect your health, physically, mentally and emotionally, that's when you need to forget about other people and take care of your self.  The worst thing I've done is neglect my self worrying about other people.  And I still do it!
     Let's look at it from different perspective.  Millionaires hang out with millionaires, athletes hang out with athletes, and criminals hang out with criminals.  See the pattern?  So if you hang out with dead beat, arrogant, rude people what does that say about you?  Choose your friends and be who you are.  Don't let them choose you and change you!




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Work With Out Education

     This is something I just wanted to shed some light on for a minute.
     If you're unemployed what's the number one thing people tell you?  "You need to go to school!"  I can't stand that.  Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against school.  If you want to go to school, than I think that's exactly what you should do.  But I don't believe you need a degree to find work.
     Yes, it's damn hard to find any kind of employment, but that doesn't mean it's not possible.  Take for example the job I used to have.  I used to be a gymnastics coach.  That's a career that you can't go to school for.  Sure you can safety and CPR certs, but that can't teach you what you need to know to do that job.  I had a career with no schooling, but my health caused me to have to quite.
     People tell me that employers want to see a degree, then why are there people with no citizenship who can't even speak English and certainly don't have any kind of degree have a career?  What ever they're doing, we need to sit back and take notes!
     This isn't meant to lead people away from degrees, this was meant to give the people who don't have the means to go to school hope.  Yes, you can apply for loans and all kind of special things to be able to go to school.  But what if, for any reason, someone can't do that?  Even if you have to stoop to working in the fast food industry, work hard and you could become manager.
     Don't ever let anyone tell you you can't do things differently.  If everyone focused and lived off of other people's reservations then humanity wouldn't be where it is today.







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Running Out of Ideas

     Good morning everyone!  I would love to write about something fun and interesting today, but to tell you the truth my mind is a little blank.  So today I just ask that some of you give some me ideas on what you would like to read about on my blog.  Help me out guys!  And hopefully I'll get past this block and have something new for you tomorrow!

     Have a nice day! :-)




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Too Blessed to be Stressed

     Even though I don't have much to be stressed about in my life, I tend to get stressed out very easy.  And it starts to effect me physically.  So here are some simple tricks that help me with my stress.  Most of these ideas you might already know about, but definably give them a try if you haven't already.

TAKE A WEEKLY BATH!
     About a month ago I started taking a bath every week. And it's helped so much.
     Draw your bath as hot as you can stand it, and make sure to light a candle.  Try to use a calming sent like vanilla or lavender.  And find some really nice bubble bath.  Not the little kid bubble bath you find at Wal-Mart, try going to a beauty supply store, or even Whole Foods.  They also have this stuff called bath foam.  In my opinion bath foam is way nicer.  Also, find your self a relaxing station on Pandora.  I found a perfect one called Esp [Deep Relaxation Mix].  It's wonderful.  And that's it!  Sit in your tub for 30 minutes to an hour.  Or longer, but you don't want to get all pruney.

DRINK MORE TEA!
      Tea is good for everything, not just stress.  Doctors say drink a glass of wine a day for your health, but I say drink tea.
     A couple of teas that can really help you out is Earl Grey and Ginger.  Earl Grey has natural mood enhancers and antioxidants while Ginger helps with stomach discomfort and helps normal blood circulation.  These are just a few benefits of a many teas you can find.

DISCONNECT!
     Ironically as I put this on the internet.  But taking a break from the computer and TV for a few days can really help.  Take some time to read or COOK!  Just a few suggestions.  But even a day away from your electronics can put your mind at ease.

CUT OUT CAFFEINE!
     I  know, I just said drink more tea that has more caffeine in it than coffee.  But the glory of that is, there is such a thing as caffeine-free tea!
     Cutting out caffeine can be stressful in of it's self, but it will help in the long run.

EXERCISE!
     I know everyone is probably tired of me talking about exercise, but it's really helped me in my life.
     Now, I'm not saying to have to go to an hour of cardio and an hour of weights a day.  Even if you don't have a gym membership, just go for a short walk.  Or do 10 jumping jacks at home.  Anything to get your heart pumping and blood flowing.
     The great thing about exercise is that it sends off endorphins.  And that's why when you start making some kind of exercise a part of your daily life it starts to get addicting.

     I really hope that at least one of these can help you get rid of stress in your life.  I know it's helped me! :-)





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Taking Advantage of your Anger

     If you're like me, you have some kind of issue with anger.  Whether it's getting angry too easily, or not being able to control your anger.  No one likes to be angry.  But instead of holding a grudge or feeling sorry for your self why don't you use exert that energy into something useful and
productive?    
     Let me give you an example...  When it comes to  my fitness and health I get a lot of people trying to discourage me.  You would think others would be happy for me that I'm trying to improve my self,  but it's the exact opposite.  No one wants to see you succeed because that means their falling behind.  But instead of crying in the corner about it and never working out again, I use that to motivate me even more.  Because those people want me to fail, so I do exactly what they don't want me to do!  It's the same principle as making your enemies your friends.  They won't know what hit them!
     This can be done with anything, not just fitness.  If you're a writer or a poet, use that anger and turn it into a great story or a beautiful poem.  Or if you work at McDonald's or something, and your friends just think of it as a dead beat job.  Well, work hard and show your boss you're ready for a raise.  Or, use that as determination to seek out a better job.
     Failure has nothing to do with other people.  The only one who is affected by your failure is you.  Even if others are disappointed you failed or even expected you to fail.  They won't have to live with it.
Take what ever it is that infuriates you and use it to succeed!  And nothing pisses off the people who wanted you to fail more than your success!






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Ezekiel Chapter 21

     One of my favorite chapters in the Bible.

   ¹ And the word of the LORD came unto me, saying, ² Son of man, set thy face toward Jerusalem, and drop thy word toward the holy places, and prophesy against the land of Israel, ³ And say to the land of Israel, Thus saith the LORD; Behold, I am against thee, and will draw forth my sword out of his sheath, and will cut off from thee the righteous and the wicked. ⁴ Seeing then that I will cut off from thee the righteous and the wicked, therefore shall my sword go forth out of his sheath against all flesh from the south to the north: ⁵ That all flesh may know that I the LORD have drawn forth my sword out of his sheath: it shall not return any more. ⁶ Sigh therefore, thou son of man, with the breaking of thy loins; and with bitterness sigh before their eyes. ⁷ And it shall be, when they say unto thee, Wherefore sighest thou? that thou shalt answer, For the tidings; because it cometh: and every heart shall melt, and all hands shall be feeble, and every spirit shall faint, and all knees shall be weak as water: behold, it cometh, and shall be brought to pass, saith the Lord GOD.
   ⁸ Again the word of the LORD came unto me, saying, ⁹ Son of man, prophesy, and say, Thus saith the LORD; Say, A sword, a sword is sharpened, and also furbished: ¹⁰ It is sharpened to make a sore slaughter; it is furbished that it may glitter: should we then make mirth? it contemneth the rod of my son, as every tree. ¹¹ And he hath given it to be furbished, that it may be handled: this sword is sharpened, and it is furbished, to give it into the hand of the slayer. ¹² Cry and howl, son of man: for it shall be upon my people, it shall be upon all the princes of Israel: terrors by reason of the sword shall be upon my people: smite therefore upon thy thigh. ¹³ Because it is a trial, and what if the sword contemn even the rod? it shall be no more, saith the Lord GOD. ¹⁴ Thou therefore, son of man, prophesy, and smite thine hands together, and let the sword be doubled the third time, the sword of the slain: it is the sword of the great men that are slain, which entereth into their privy chambers. ¹⁵ I have set the point of the sword against all their gates, that their heart may faint, and their ruins be multiplied: ah! it is made bright, it is wrapped up for the slaughter. ¹⁶ Go thee one way or other, either on the right hand, or on the left, whithersoever thy face is set. ¹⁷ I will also smite mine hands together, and I will cause my fury to rest: I the LORD have said it.
   ¹⁸ The word of the LORD came unto me again, saying, ¹⁹ Also, thou son of man, appoint thee two ways, that the sword of the king of Babylon may come: both twain shall come forth out of one land: and choose thou a place, choose it at the head of the way to the city. ²⁰ Appoint a way, that the sword may come to Rabbath of the Ammonites, and to Judah in Jerusalem the defenced. ²¹ For the king of Babylon stood at the parting of the way, at the head of the two ways, to use divination: he made his arrows bright, he consulted with images, he looked in the liver. ²² At his right hand was the divination for Jerusalem, to appoint captains, to open the mouth in the slaughter, to lift up the voice with shouting, to appoint battering rams against the gates, to cast a mount, and to build a fort. ²³ And it shall be unto them as a false divination in their sight, to them that have sworn oaths: but he will call to remembrance the iniquity, that they may be taken. ²⁴ Therefore thus saith the Lord GOD; Because ye have made your iniquity to be remembered, in that your transgressions are discovered, so that in all your doings your sins do appear; because, I say, that ye are come to remembrance, ye shall be taken with the hand. ²⁵ And thou, profane wicked prince of Israel, whose day is come, when iniquity shall have an end, ²⁶ Thus saith the Lord GOD; Remove the diadem, and take off the crown: this shall not be the same: exalt him that is low, and abase him that is high. ²⁷ I will overturn, overturn, overturn, it: and it shall be no more, until he come whose right it is; and I will give it him.
   ²⁸ And thou, son of man, prophesy and say, Thus saith the Lord GOD concerning the Ammonites, and concerning their reproach; even say thou, The sword, the sword is drawn: for the slaughter it is furbished, to consume because of the glittering: ²⁹ Whiles they see vanity unto thee, whiles they divine a lie unto thee, to bring thee upon the necks of them that are slain, of the wicked, whose day is come, when their iniquity shall have an end. ³⁰ Shall I cause it to return into his sheath? I will judge thee in the place where thou wast created, in the land of thy nativity. ³¹ And I will pour out mine indignation upon thee, I will blow against thee in the fire of my wrath, and deliver thee into the hand of brutish men, and skilful to destroy. ³² Thou shalt be for fuel to the fire; thy blood shall be in the midst of the land; thou shalt be no more remembered: for I the LORD have spoken it.




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Words

     I've never been one of those people who just love reading.  I actually couldn't stand reading as a child, and still have a lot of difficulty forcing my self to read even now.  But ironically enough, I love words!  I love the way they sound, and I love their meanings.  Have you ever sat down and just thought about the way we speak?  Isn't it fascinating?  A lot of people I know think of the English language is just a bastardized version of every other language, but that's because we don't take the time to think about what we're saying and use words properly.  And that's what I love about writing.  You can take your time to think about what you're going to say, and use more intelligent words to express your self.
     If you look at the first part of my story I posted yesterday, you can see I still have some work to do on it. But the great thing about words and language is that there's always room for improvement.  If we all slowed down when we spoke, and stopped using words like "like" and "yeah" we would sound more intelligent.
     To those who want to improve their speech, vocabulary, spelling and grammar here are a few tips that really helped me.

1. READ!  Why some of you may adore reading, I can't stand it.  But it has helped me become a much better writer.  And I don't just mean novels, take some time to skim a informational book.
2. WRITE!  Now as much as I hate reading, I love writing.  I know, it makes no sense.  But keeping a journal and writing down everything you did that day will pay off in the end.  I've been keeping a journal for years.  And even though I don't write in it every day, it still has helped me with my spelling and grammar.
3. SLOW DOWN!  When you write, or speak take your time.  A lot of the time we speak and write faster than we think.  Me included.  If you just take you're time and think about things most likely things will turn out much better.
4. EXPAND YOUR VOCABULARY!  Take some time to look up and learn new words.  And then try to use them at least once a day.  It doesn't have to be some huge obnoxious word, just a word either you don't use much, or that you've never heard before.  There are thousands of words that we've never even heard before I'm sure.

    I'm no expert.  I'm just a person who loves words and loves to express my self with them.
    So now I'm going to leave you with three of my favorite words.

 
Fortitude

Mental and emotional strength in facing difficulty, adversity, danger, or temptation courageously.

Disquieted

Lack of calm, peace, or ease.

Expeditious 

To be efficient and speedy. 

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Luckies

     I've been working on a story/book for about three and a half years.  I'm going to post the introduction today and depending if anyone like it, I'll start posting a chapter every couple of weeks or so.
     This Story is called Luckies.  The name is based off the cigarette brand "Lucky Strike".  The name will make more sense once the story is read.  The thing about this story is that it's very cliche.  I enjoy cliche stories so I that's how I wrote my story.
     This story is still a work in progress, so there are still things that need to be done to it.  The grammar and spelling still need to be further fixed, so bear with me.

WARNING!  EXPLICIT LANGUAGE/CONTENT.

­­­LUCKIE’S

INTRODUCTION

Saturday, October 25th 7:30am

          A snowy bone chilling breeze blowing in from the open window, and the phone ringing repeatedly woke me up from my mindless coma I called sleep.  I didn’t sleep well that night.  My schedule was never the same.  I worked as a CTS Decon (crime and trauma scene decontamination).  You know, the people who have the pleasure to take care of some sad bastard’s mess after he offed himself.  It wasn’t glamorous, but it was good money.  And not many other people were capable of doing the job.  I was on call 24/7, so I never knew when I would be woken up by a phone call.  I would always anticipate being called in, so I was never able to fall into that deep, REM sleep.  I was taking a leave of absence to take care of some personal business.  I had enough money to hold me over until I was ready to go back to work. 

          Before dragging my self out of my messy bed, I reached over to my end table where I kept a lighter and a pack of Lucky Strikes cigarettes. Slowly reaching for the pack, I flinched at the sound of another phone ring.  I composed himself from the shock, then quickly grabbed the pack. I taped out a cigarette, and lit it before I was rudely interrupted again.

          With another ring I gained enough strength to walk across the room to a half empty bottle of whisky and a dusty glass on top of the dresser. 

          I poured himself a glass before bothering to answer.  I took a few sips of the cheap booze, and a couple puffs of my cigarette. 

          I decided to take a glance at the mirror hanging over the dresser. I saw nothing but the old blue boxers and ripped t-shirt I was wearing.  I tried to find something about my self that was worth looking at, but to me there never was.  I wasn't unattractive, just a little rusty.  My ashy brown hair fell to my chin in a nappy mess from the old pillow I slept on. I had a face full of whiskers that hadn't been shaved in weeks. And my eyes… I was always told I had intense eyes.  I never understood what they were talking about..  But to me, all I ever saw was a waist of life. 

          When the long criticizing stair at my self in the mirror came to an end, I lifted my glass to my mouth ready to take another sip.  But before I could taste the sweet burning sensation of the alcohol, I was interrupted yet again by that fucking telephone. 

          Frustrated at the lack of peace and silence, I swished the rest of the whisky around in the glass, and shot what was left. 

          I sat the glass back down on the top of the dresser before answering the phone.  I paused and took another quick glance in the mirror making eye contact with my self.  My depression deepened a little.  Just realizing what I was doing, I ran across the room to the end table to answer the phone before it could ring again. 

          I grabbed the receiver and lifted it to my ear.  "Yeah?"  I asked tired and irritated. "Do you know what time it is?" 

          It was Charlotte, my ex-wife.  I cringed at the sound of her voice.  I did what I could to prepare my self for the speech I'd heard a thousand fucking times before about what I had done wrong this time.

         Charlotte and I were divorced about two years ago.  We both blamed each other of course, but the honest truth was, we simply weren’t good for each other anymore.  With my job and drinking problem, and Charlotte’s job and spending problem it was anybody’s game. 

          Before I answered her, I purposely took my time to take another puff of my cigarette.  While blowing the smoke in the receiver releasing my frustration. 

          She asked again.  "Christopher!  Don't tell me you're too lazy to even look at the clock!"  I rolled my eyes in response.  I decided to answer with a satisfying, smart-ass comment.  "Well, from the looks of it, it's day time."  I always enjoyed pissing her off even further then she already was.  "You know, this arrangement is never going to work if you don't do your part!"  I paused for a moment in confusion trying to recall anything about an arrangement.  But nothing came to mind.  "What the hell are you talking about Charlotte?" 

          I knew there was something important I was supposed to do, but I was probably drunk when the arrangement was made.  Hard liquor seemed like the only way to ease the pain of her voice.

          "I don't even know why I attempt to do this again with you Chris!  I should have known you would back out at the last minute.  You’ve always been so good at disappointment." 

          In my mind, I didn't think I had to put up with her shit anymore, but I always forget… She's a woman. I lingered and took another puff of my cigarette. "Why don't you just save us some time and tell me what I screwed up on so we can both get back to our day?"  "Your daughter!"

         My eyes widened after hearing what she said.  "It's the 20^th Chris!  Remember?  She's staying with you until New Year’s!"  My chest contracted as I took a deep breath when the memory of my daughter snapped into my head. 

          Charlotte and I used to have joint custody of our 14 year old daughter, Victoria.  Thinking about it, I could hardly remember the last time I saw her.  I used to spend every other weekend with her, but since my recent increase of responsibility at work; I wasn't able to provide a good environment for her.  At least that was the excuse I used.  There were many reasons I wasn’t allowed Victoria to stay with me. So Charlotte received full custody. 

          It had to have been at least a year and a half since I saw her last.  Charlotte and I both thought it was time for her to stay with me for a while. 

          As memories of the family I used to have raced through my head, I forgot about the lit cigarette I was holding.  It was almost burnt out by now.  As I snapped my self out of my flash backs I glanced at my cigarette and placed it in the ash tray beside me.  I had to take a seat before I could hear anymore.  So I sat at the edge of my bed, and put my hand to my head.

          Charlotte answered with a soft, disappointed voice. "Listen… Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.  If you don't want her to stay I'll take her right back home!"   I was confused about the choice of words she used.  Realizing what she had said, I panicked and said;  “Take her back home?  You're here already?"  I quickly walked around to the other side of my bed where the window was.  Anxiously, I looked out of my window to see if I could find them through the snow covered glass, but I didn't see any sight of them.  "Not yet.  We're about 10 minutes away.  But if you don't want her there, I can just –"  "No!" I said interrupting her.  "Please… Bring her over.  It's about time I saw my little girl."  I could only  finished my sentence in practically a whisper. I walked back around to the end table to finish the conversation.  "She's not so little anymore, Chris.  She's growing up.  You would know that if work didn't get in the way.  But work always came first, didn't it?"  I thought about what she just said.  She didn’t know it, but she was the only person in the world that could actually hurt my feelings, but I never told her that.  I was too proud.  I thought it made me weak.  "Charlotte.  I'm –"   I halted my words at the sound of silence on the other end.  She had hung up.  I exhaled in disappointment, but finished my sentence as if she were still there. "I'm sorry." 

          I gently sat down the receiver.  I took a moment to think about what Charlotte said.  Maybe I did care about work more than Victoria.  But in my mind that seemed impossible. 

          I shook my head and composed my self.  I had to get ready for my daughter's arrival. 

          So I walked back over to the dresser.  I opened the third drawer down and grabbed an old pair of jeans and threw them on.  I threw on an old pair of canvas shoes I’ve had since the ’80’s.  They’re were black, but they were so old and worn they looked grey.

          I impatiently waited for Charlotte to arrive with Victoria.  I grabbed my cigarettes and lighter and put them in my back pocket.  I took another look out the window to see if they were there, but no one yet.  So I just decided to head down stairs to wait for them. 

          The apartment I lived in was pretty beat up and a bit old. The floor cricked, and the paint was peeling.  And the lights on the balcony would flicker, but there was no other place I called home.  Not much contact between neighbors. Only a quick greeting as we passed by.

         Gathering my thoughts, I quickly walked across the balcony about to head down stairs.  But I realized I forgot my jacket.  Normally I wouldn't give a shit, but since Victoria was coming, I didn't want to risk getting sick.  So I hurried back to my apartment.  I ran through the living room, down the hall way, and to my bedroom in search of my leather jacket.  I tore through my closet, threw all kinds of articles of clothing around the room.  Desperately searching, I saw my jacket lying over the chair next to the window.  I stumbled over the mess and grabbed the jacket from the chair.  I forcefully put each arm in its sleeve, not even bothering to zip up the front.  I brushed my hair away from his face, trying  to look somewhat presentable.




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Take Advantage of Today

     Good morning everyone, and Happy Valentine's day!  I'm going to make today's post really short so you all can get ready for your day.
     Whether you have plans or not take advantage of today.  While you're out on your Starbucks run, show the person behind you the love and pay for their drink.  Or is you're stopping by McDonald's for breakfast, pay for the person behind you in the drive thru.  Show people you care and pay it forward.  They won't believe you went to the trouble to pay for their order and you'll feel better knowing you helped someone out today!

      I hope everyone has a wonderful, loving day! <3





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Gun Control

     I think they should be banned!  And I'm not talking about firearms, I'm talking about piercing guns.  So many people don't even think twice about this issue, so I want to put it out there and make sure I can inform as many people as I can.
     When you think about getting your ears pierced, where's the first place you think of?  Claire's or Wal-Mart, right?  You sit in their chair as they clean your ear with a alcohol wipe and mark the spot they're going to pierce.  Load up the gun with a pre-packeged earring, lift it to your ear, and BAM!  It's in.  Now, I've gotten all my lobe piercings at Claire's, but that's because I didn't know any better.  It hurt so bad I actually got dizzy.  But I figured if little girls could do it, I could do it.  But I always found my ears super painful and infected.  Now I know better!
     Do you ever wonder why places like Claire's only do ear piercings?  That's because they don't have a piercing license.  That's right, they just train them in the store.  They don't have to go to any kind of school or any kind of safety course.  Now, this is all my assumption, but if they did go through training, I can guarantee you they wouldn't be piercing people with guns.
     Just a few problems with the guns consist of ripping the ear.  The pre-packaged earring they use to pierce your is isn't sharp enough.  So it's literally rips a whole in your ear.  The earring not being big enough.  The post of the earring being used for the piercing isn't long enough.  So after it was used to rip though your ear, your ear doesn't have enough room to swell and won't heal correctly.  And sanitation.  There is no way to properly and safely sterilize the gun and earring.
     These are just a few problems with piercing guns.  So the next time you want a piercing, go to a professional.  A tattoo shop is the place to go.  They are trained, and use needles NOT GUNS!  I know people think needles will hurt a lot more than a piercing gun, but trust me it hardly hurts.  And I'm a baby when it comes to pain.
     If you want to get your baby's or child's ears pierced some tattoo shops will pierce their ears, but it's always better to call first.  And sometimes even your pediatrician will do it.  But if you don't feel comfortable taking your child to a tattoo shop, and your pediatrician doesn't offer that service, my advice would be to wait til they are older.  I wouldn't take my kid anywhere near a piercing gun!
    
     Here's a page with all the information you need about piercing guns and the dangers of them.

http://nomorepiercingguns.tumblr.com/





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The Art of Cooking

   I used to hate cooking with my mom.  Being forced to cook used to be the worst thing to me.  Now is a completely different story.
     After years of never wanting to cook I one day just decided to make something.  I can't remember what it was, but I do remember I had a lot of fun making it.  So I kept cooking.  No recipes, just ideas straight out of my head.  I had some flops, lots of flops actually, and some really good turn outs.  Now I love to cook.
     I never understood why people think they can't cook.  Cooking is easy, it just takes patience and practice.  If  you can read and follow directions, you can cook.
     For those of you who have trouble with cooking, or those of you who love to cook, I'm going to leave a recipe for you.  Something simple and delicious!  And you'll never buy store bought Alfredo sauce again.
     I normally just eyeball this recipe, so these measurements are not exact.  Just trust your taste buds and you'll be fine.
     Enjoy! :-)  


Ingredients:

Fresh basil
1/4 cup butter
1 clove of garlic
3 cups of cream/half & half/whole milk (which ever you like better)
2 packages shredded Italian mixed cheese (parmesean, provolone, mozzarella)
White wine
Salt
White pepper

1 Package linguine

Directions:

Fill a big pot of water 3/4 with water.
Salt water and bring to boil.
While water is boiling, in large skillet melt butter on medium heat and add garlic.
When garlic is browned and fragrant, add cream and let simmer for 1 minute.
When water is boiling, add pasta.  Let cook for about 8 minutes or to taste.
Slowly mix in cheese to sauce mixture til desired texture.
Add white wine, salt and pepper to taste.  Let simmer til pasta is ready stirring occasionally.
When pasta is ready, strain and add to sauce.  Stir pasta in sauce til all pasta is thoroughly covered.
Garnish with fresh basil and serve.





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You're Not Alone

     Before I got married, I really didn't like Valentine's Day.  Yes, my mom would be sweet and get my brother and I heart shaped boxes filled with chocolate, or some kind of cute stuffed animal.  I loved it when she did that.   She made sure we always felt loved and never felt alone.
     I guess my point is Valentine's Day is a day to celebrate the people you love.  Even if you're single.  Make the most out of your Valentine's day and spend it with your friends, or family.  That way you're not alone and you'll be with the people who love you more than anyone.  Or if anything, go on a date with your self.  Yup, with your self.  Take your self out to dinner, or make your self the most delicious dinner eve.  Or put on your pj's, grab your favorite movies, and eat some chocolate.  If you don't have anyone to celebrate with, celebrate your self.  Be a little selfish for once!  I think you deserve it! ;-)






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Love

     Happy Sunday everybody.  Today I want to provide you with a chapter from the Bible.
     Since it's almost Valentine's Day, I thought a chapter out of The Songs of Solomon would be appropriate.
     Love if such a beautiful gift from God, and I am thankful everyday that I get to experience it with my husband.

SONGS OF SOLOMON

CHAPTER 1

   ¹ The song of songs, which is Solomon's.
   ² Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine. ³ Because of the savour of thy good ointments thy name is as ointment poured forth, therefore do the virgins love thee. ⁴ Draw me, we will run after thee: the king hath brought me into his chambers: we will be glad and rejoice in thee, we will remember thy love more than wine: the upright love thee. ⁵ I am black, but comely, O ye daughters of Jerusalem, as the tents of Kedar, as the curtains of Solomon. ⁶ Look not upon me, because I am black, because the sun hath looked upon me: my mother's children were angry with me; they made me the keeper of the vineyards; but mine own vineyard have I not kept.
   ⁷ Tell me, O thou whom my soul loveth, where thou feedest, where thou makest thy flock to rest at noon: for why should I be as one that turneth aside by the flocks of thy companions? ⁸ If thou know not, O thou fairest among women, go thy way forth by the footsteps of the flock, and feed thy kids beside the shepherds' tents. ⁹ I have compared thee, O my love, to a company of horses in Pharaoh's chariots. ¹⁰ Thy cheeks are comely with rows of jewels, thy neck with chains of gold. ¹¹ We will make thee borders of gold with studs of silver.
   ¹² While the king sitteth at his table, my spikenard sendeth forth the smell thereof. ¹³ A bundle of myrrh is my wellbeloved unto me; he shall lie all night betwixt my breasts. ¹⁴ My beloved is unto me as a cluster of camphire in the vineyards of Engedi. ¹⁵ Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves' eyes. ¹⁶ Behold, thou art fair, my beloved, yea, pleasant: also our bed is green. ¹⁷ The beams of our house are cedar, and our rafters of fir.

    God bless!




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Bad Mood, Bad Diet.

     Before I started exercising and watching what I ate I was not a happy person.  I was depressed, irritable, fatigued, had headaches, all that good stuff.  I just figured it was a normal thing that everybody went through.  WRONG!  Let me give you an example.
    Yesterday was my husband's birthday.  We invited friends over and ate a lot of junk food.
Chips, candy, pizza, cake, soda... All sugar and carbs.  I don't normally eat that stuff anymore, so I was excited to have an excuse to eat it.  By the end of the day I all of the sudden got really annoyed, depressed, and my stomach was hurting so bad.  Everyone and everything was irritating me.  I didn't want to do what they were doing, I didn't want to be around anyone, it was terrible.  I didn't even give it a second thought why I felt that way until I noticed my self retreating to my room.  And then it hit me, I had nothing but sugar and carbs.  Some fat, but absolutely no protein.  So after a lot of water,  some antacids, and sleep I was back to normal.  My normal.
     Most people make no connection to mental heath and diet.  They just think it's something they have to live with.  If you go and tell your doctor you're depressed, he won't say "Cut out the sugar, and start exercising!" he'll shove an anti-depressant at you.
    I'm not a doctor and I am in no position to give any medical advice.  But I do suffer from depression.  And with my diet and exercise regimen, I have never needed drugs to help me.  So I urge you, if you feel sluggish and down try going for a walk.  Just start with that.  I promise you, it will help and you will feel better.
     Just remember, exercise gives off endorphins, starchy carbs are porssesed like sugar in your body, and you don't need a chemical to help you feel more normal!

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To My Love on His Birthday

     My husband and I have married two years.  And I'm am thankful everyday.  I am truly a blessed woman!  So on his birthday, I wanted to leave you with a poem by E.E. Cummings I'm sure you all know very well!
     My dear Silvino, I'll love you forever!  Happy Birthday my love!

i carry your heart with me
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go, my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
                                                        i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart)

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Uncomfortable at the Gym?

     I've heard a lot of people say they don't want to start going to the gym because it's uncomfortable and they don't feel like they look good enough to show their faces there.  Well, let me tell you.  Every single person, (including the huge, buff men) feel uncomfortable.  Everyone at the gym constantly sizes everyone up, and compares others to them selves.
     I started really getting into exercise about 3 1/2 months ago.  I was nervous of course.  I've never been to a gym before, so I didn't know what to expect or even where to start.  Luckily I had my brother with me, who's has gone through a pretty amazing fitness journey him self.  He lost over 150lbs all on his own.  No trainers, no diet programs, just pure determination.
     Every time I went to the gym, I felt like crap because everyone else was in better shape than I was.  But my brother told me something interesting.  He said, "No matter how in shape you are, there will always be someone in better shape than you."  At first I was thinking, "Wow!  Thanks for the inspiration."  But he didn't say it to discourage me, he said it for the exact opposite.  He was telling me that just because other people look better than me doesn't mean I should stop trying.  Sure, I see 18 year old, size 2 women with their hair up in a cute, perfect pony tail and wearing designer sports wear.  At first glance I feel like crap.  But then I think, no matter how much I look at them and wish I had a body like that, I'll never get there by feeling sorry for my self!
     So for those of you just starting to work out, or have been working out for a while.  You can't worry about what other people are doing and expect to improve your self.  The only thing that matters is what you think of you, not what you think of other people.  Everyone starts somewhere!!!  I still have a long way to go, but I'm sure as hell not giving up!



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Inspiration, Motivation, and Determination.

 

in·spi·ra·tion

A divine influence directly and immediately exerted upon the mind or soul.

 

     What inspires you?  I'm sure some people would say they don't have any inspiration.  That nothing really gets through their mind and soul.  In my eyes, I can't see how people do what ever it is they do everyday with out inspiration.  Weather it be something artistic like writing, playing an instrument, painting, or even doing their everyday 9 to 5 jobs.  Everybody has something that inspires them.  Otherwise, how would people get through their day?

     I draw inspiration from all things.  And the best part is, I'll find it when I'm not even looking for it.  And sometimes I won't find it anywhere when I am actually looking for it.  The best part about it is that it can be anywhere and anything.  That alone keeps me excited!

 

mo·ti·va·tion 

The act or an instance of motivating, or providing with a reason to act in a certain way.

      What motivates you?  I look at motivation much like inspiration, but they are not the same.  Unlike inspiration, I can't just find motivation anywhere.  It has to be from a source that I know will get my blood pumping.  Fitness for example.  Hearing someone say "C'mon!  You can do it!" doesn't do anything for me.  The only person that can motivate me is me.  And truly, that goes for all people.  No one else can motivate me because I'm not doing it for them, I'm doing it for me.  If you focus on pleasing other people you will never accomplish your goals.

 

de·ter·mi·na·tion

The act of coming to a decision or of fixing or settling a purpose.

 

     Probably my most favorite definition yet.   

     Being determined in my eyes in a lot of the time a big fat lie!  Anybody can say "I'm determined to do it!"  But we all know actions speak louder than words.  I've told my self so many times that I was determined to do something.  But later just gave up.  Just because you say it and think it doesn't mean it's really there.  Determination is much like motivation, it can only truly come from your self.  Someone else can't do it for you.

     We can get through life easily with out inspiration, and we can even get through our day with out motivation, but try getting through anything that's important with out determination.  If you're not determined to do it, (what ever that may be,) it won't be done.

     Just be thankful that the people that build your houses and your cars are determined to do a good job.  Who knows what would have happened if at the end of the day they weren't finished but just said "Eh.  Good enough."

 

     Don't settle for anything less than great.  Because everyone deserves the chance to be great.  There's only one person that can hold you back, and I think we all know who that is.

 

 

 

 

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